Dating advice 4 secrets to a spectacular relationship
The next time he gets a promotion, invents a new marinade for the grill or wins first prize at the adults-only spelling bee, do more than say, "Hooray, Honey!" As this handy graphic from the self-improvement website explains, couples who celebrated each other's successes in four steps—showing enthusiasm ("A spelling bee! "); asking questions ("So, 'babushka' counted even though it's Russian? "); and, reliving the moment with them ("So, what exactly went through your mind when you heard psychoneuroendocrinological? Further research proved that "people who did this three times a day for one week improved their happiness." And happiness, as we know—scientific studies or not—usually leads to a lot of more happily ever afters.Some of the spouses simply guessed (e.g.,"Ernie would never use a credit card! Others had to write about a typical day in their partner's life, and then "put themselves in his or her shoes" before predicting (e.g., "Ernie works so hard all day at the bank, and he resents even paying five dollars for lunch; he would never use a credit card.") The result: Those who tried to imagine the other's perspective were less accurate than those who winged it—confirming Epley's real-life experience of giving his dolphin-loving wife a day of caring for the animals at the aquarium, not realizing that, since she'd just had a baby, she would not enjoy the binding, full-body wetsuit.While understanding that your partner may have a different take than you is helpful, he writes in Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, you don't always imagine your partner's actual "different take." The best way to get your partner's point of view, he says, is to simply—oh yes, you saw this coming—ask for it.... Because sure, you want to pounce on him when you catch him in a jerky act—smoking a cigarette out the window?This doesn't mean you don't think interesting things or long to share them with your spouse.The next time you stumble on, say, how to make a penny ball that repels slugs, make sure you share it with your husband, the gardener, by using a technique reported on by Adam Bryant in Quick and Nimble: Lessons from Leading CEOs on How to Create a Culture of Innovation.Women, on the other hand, enjoy the occasional conflict or emotional discussion. So as an important dating tips for guys secret, you have to remember that you can’t be drawn into constant conflicts over things.
Admit it: You're sick of hearing about date nights all together, including but not limited to: the importance of, the rules for, blah, blah, blah.You two need to decide on something big together: Should you buy that house? Or you could borrow a technique suggested by Chris Ertel and Lisa Kay Solomon, who consult with corporations on how to plan strategic meetings."One powerful way to establish context," write the two in Moments of Impact: How to Design Strategic Conversations That Accelerate Change, "is to create a large visual timeline." A company, for example, might plot key investments over the previous decade.Trying to see a situation from your spouse's perspective is supposed to be a good thing, right?You get a snapshot of his or her feelings and thus can be more understanding and empathetic.